Sunday, July 02, 2006

Don Knotts Security Team Hired

It was announced today that the Thirsty Thursday Club has hired the famous Don Knotts Security team to act as armed escorts for the Club to and from Centene Stadium. The Club is taking precautions to protect their safety in anticipation of hostile actions from opposing players.

"We've got a lot of talent on the Thirsty Thursday Club this season," said Club President Jeff Andreoli. "I'd hate to see someone get wacked by a player who couldn't handle our criticisms. We saw several opposing players waiting for us by their bus last year, and I just don't want to see any of those situations escalate."

Don Knotts, Security Team CEO, said his team will deploy a full contingent of uniformed and undercover personnel to protect the Club. "Right now, this job is our number one priority," he said. "I'm even pulling people from the Kelly Clarkson job to supplement the force. I will also make several personal appearances to oversee the operation."

With their safety in good hands, expect the Thirsty Thursday Club to make even more noise this year.


Blogger david said...

In the words of a famous bar-bouncer..."it'll get worse before it gets better..."

9:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This security team is no joke. I once saw Don himself doing a job at Eli's on Whitney in Hamden, CT before he made it big time. He was working the weekly "Meathead" convention where most of the locals congregate. When there appeared to be a disagreement between this slampig and her five boyfriends, Don stepped in, folded his arms, and the issue was resolved. Man, he parted that place like the Red Sea.

4:24 PM  

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