Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Club Seeks First Win on Thursday

The Thirsty Thursday Club is heading into Thursday's game against Idaho Falls with one thing on their minds: Drink their faces off. But notching a win is a close second. "We've never gone this far into the season without a victory," said President Jeff Andreoli. "We're going to come into the game strong, with a lot of numbers, and use our new strategy (see July 4th post) to get the White Sox a W." The White Sox, whose sloppy play has contributed to their 0-2 record on Club outings, will have to come with their 'A game' against the Idaho Falls Chukars, who are in first place in the Southern Division of the Pioneer League. "But obviously they haven't won any games with the Thirsty Thursday Club in their heads yet," added Andreoli. "We're going to make life miserable for those SOBs, really ruin their Thursday evening here in Great Falls."

The Club will also make an attempt at their goal of 100 beers during a single game. "I know we can do it one of these nights," said Andreoli. "We'll need the bottom of the order and some of the rookies to step it up a bit, however. Scotty Simpson did his training at the University of Florida, supposedly a big party school. So I called him up to the big club, but so far I'm a little disappointed. He should be able to drink his weight in beer, he only comes in at 95 pounds for crying out loud. But I'm not giving up on him yet. If he doesn't improve by the end of the season, we'll really have to evaluate our Southeastern farm system, maybe overhaul the scouting down there."

The Club recently signed rookie Drew Woodbury, who steps in ready to be a big contributor. "He's out of Boston, so I know he can drink," said Andreoli. "Plus those bastards are obnoxious as hell, so that's a plus."

If all goes well Thursday night, the Sox will be victorious, and the concession stand will be $100 richer. But watch your step as you exit the stadium, that may just be a Thirsty Thursday Club member you're stepping on.

5 Comments:

Blogger Scotty #13 said...

Bah...I'll drink close to an ounce a pound. That goes roughly to 12.5 or so beers if we ignore your whimsical weight calculations. I see you've been in Great Falls for too long if you think someone that actually weighs a bit over a buck fifty is only 95lbs. I guess something's gotta give in this town of Tuffies. I can see it now, hundreds of Great Falls women waiting in line to have Oli tell them their weight. Good luck with the stampede...
On a different note, we better get things taken care of Thursday...it's going to take a helluva lot of heckling to get Idaho off their game enough to compensate for the Sox borderline pathetic play.

2:10 PM  
Blogger Oli #19 said...

I still don't think you realize that 150 pounds for a grown man over 6 feet tall is still pretty pathetic. I weighed that in 8th grade.

3:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If ya can't drink the brew then you might as well move to Tampa. The weight makes the man and the da beer he drinks

3:57 PM  
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