Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Long Term Effects of Heckling: A Continuing Study

It has long been theorized that by heckling at the Sox games, there would be an immediate impact on the result of the games. This year has been somewhat anomalous, however, as the Thirsty Thursday Club has gone 0-3 at home games. This has led some of the members to search for answers at the bottom of their 12oz cups, others to cite umpire conspiracy theories, and others still to look for a rational explanation. When asked for comment, Scotty #13 reported the following:
“Well, let’s look at this from a different perspective. While the Sox have gone 0 for 3 on games we’ve actually attended, I get the impression that we’re doing more damage to the visiting teams then they initially let on. When we evaluate the record of the Sox following our memorable appearances, you will notice their record is a respectable 3-3. In fact, following that abysmal performance against Idaho Falls which was plagued by errors, horrible calls by the Umps, stellar heckling, and some kind of voodoo, the Sox sealed back to back wins against the Chukars. My theory is that our heckling was so phenomenal and intellectually based that it took a full evening for the Idaho Falls boys to digest it. They are just now beginning to pay the price. As we’ve refined our heckling skills and improved on our alcohol induced abilities to get under the skin of individual players, there has been clear scientific evidence that there is a long term effect (P=0.005)! I mean, it’s the subtlety of our banter that does the real damage. I’m beginning to believe that we’re just too damn smart for our own good. When we heckle, it’s kinda like telling your girlfriend she’s fat, but not saying it outright. You know? You say something like, ‘Hey, are you sure you want to eat that?’ and ‘Have you been drying your clothes with high heat?’ After a while the seeds are planted, and your woman’s got a complex!”
Scotty then incoherently trailed off rambling about Tuffies and the trials and tribulations of the single life in Great Falls.

So is it possible that the sophistication of the Club’s heckling is actually psychologically damaging the Sox opponents? I think it might just be plausible. #12 Tom McDonough had this to say about the possibility, “No you idiot, it’s a DOG. I told you, it’s a dog, not a moose, see? See? See?!?!?”
Did I mention that some members were searching for answers at the bottom of their cups?
Grounds Keeper Carl provided the following statement: “They may be helping out in the long run, ARRRR, I never thought about it…but if they step foot on my field again, I’ll beat them senseless.”


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nice! Where you get this guestbook? I want the same script.. Awesome content. thankyou.

5:02 PM  
Blogger Scotty #13 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:14 AM  
Blogger Scotty #13 said...

The "comment" section is a function of the template/format provided by our host, www.blogger.com
To my knowledge new sites can be established through them for no fee.
As for the awesome content, we at the TTC agree. Have a nice day!

8:15 AM  
Blogger Oli #19 said...

Uh oh. Looks like we're getting so popular that we're starting to get the spam...I may have to install some security devices. Let me give Don Knotts a call.

10:35 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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6:01 PM  
Blogger Jared #32 said...

Hey, how did Nick Lachey get acccess to Oli's blog? Hey Nick, nice facial hair! I don't think we can let you into the club though, now give us our president back.

4:29 PM  

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