Club Pulls Off World Series Trophy Heist

In what was dubbed “Operation Thirsty Monday,” a skeleton crew of Thirsty Thursday Club members successfully stole the World Series trophy, which was visiting Great Falls from Chicago on Monday. Although under tight security, the three masked Club members (pictured above, just before the theft) were able to distract the guard long enough to escape with the trophy. Witnesses reported seeing the men fleeing on bicycles, one carrying “a very large, shiny object” under his arm. Centene Stadium officials ignored the fleeing men, figuring they were White Sox employees because of their “official looking uniforms.”

“Well this one guy, with this shell necklace, tells me that there are girls in bikinis serving ice cream by the bleachers,” said trophy security guard Tony Mossimino. “So I run to check that out. I mean chicks in bikinis in Great Falls? Who wouldn’t want to see that?” With the trophy unguarded, the Thirsty Thursday Club members were able to snatch the prize and escape out the door, while fans watched in frozen shock. Officials in Chicago are furious over the theft, and reportedly have threatened to move the Great Falls team to Butte if the trophy is not returned. If the trophy cannot be recovered, the White Sox will ask to borrow one of the New York Yankees 26 World Series trophies for the time being.

As for the game, the White Sox dropped another one, 6-5 in 11 innings to the Missoula Osprey, making the Thirsty Thursday Club 0-4 on the season. There were encouraging signs, however, as the White Sox played much better baseball. The Club relocated to seats behind home plate, where their timely heckling helped the Sox rally for 3 runs in the bottom of the 8th inning to tie the game. Some new strategies were also developed that will be revealed at Thursday’s game. Reports are also circulating that President Jeff Andreoli’s job may be in jeopardy if the Club does not change its losing ways. Possible replacements are rumored to be current Vice President Jared Smith and St Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa.