Friday, July 28, 2006

Club Members, Players Drown Sorrows - Or Celebrate?

Thirsty Thursday Club members and several White Sox players were seen late last night at the famous Sip n’ Dip Lounge after the Sox lost another tough one, making the Club a horrific 0-5 on the season. The Sox took a 3-2 lead into the seventh, but a 5-run inning by the Helena Brewers sealed the victory for the visitors. The rally happened just as a small squadron of the Club relocated to behind home plate in order to get a better heckling angle. Coincidence? Or could the Club’s antics really be fueling the opponents? The bad luck the Club has brought upon the White Sox has many fans talking. “The Club is entertaining and all,” said longtime Sox fan and Great Falls resident Abe Arnold. “But they never help us win.”

Club President Jeff Andreoli dismissed the notion that the Club is a detriment to the Sox. “Our tactics are the same year in and year out, and we’ve always had success in the past,” he said. “Sometimes the ball just doesn’t bounce your way.” Maybe so, but statistical analysis of the games proves the Sox make more errors, give up more runs, and leave more men on base when the Club is in attendance. “I don’t buy it,” said Andreoli, seen above being whisked away by Don Knotts Security personnel following the loss. Andreoli and losing pitcher Steve Spurgeon were later seen downing shots together at the Sip n’ Dip Lounge. Could this be a conspiracy? Are the Club and certain Sox players working together to throw baseball games as part of an underground gambling ring? Could this be another Black Sox scandal? This reporter doesn’t want to jump to conclusions, but further investigation into the matter is warranted.

The Club will test the “delayed effects of heckling” theory tonight, when a small contingent travels to Helena to cheer on the Sox as they battle the Brewers again. It will be the first ever road game for the Club, and they hope to create quite a ruckus in enemy territory. Details coming this weekend.


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